These rules really, really shouldn’t need to exist and the fact that they do is a testament to how far we’ve sunk.
I’m gonna be br*tally honest – I think we’ve made life too easy for idiots, and that’s why we’re positively drowning in them now. Back in the day, we didn’t need a pa!nt can telling us not to drink it because it just seemed pretty f**king obvious. If you got hurt because you weren’t smart enough to realize that on your own, you kinda had it coming to an extent.
In an effort to limit liability and lawsuits, however, humanity has had to create a whole bunch of rules PURELY to counteract some people’s natural proclivity for moronic behavior.
Here is the list of Obvious Rules That Shouldn’t Be Needed, But Are
Remove baby before collapsing stroller.
Credit: eBaum’s world
Since Pandemic and things going digital, we now have a ‘You must wear clothes’ rule… and we already had a pretty casual dress code.
Credit: eBaum’s world
No cooking in the Plane
On an AirFrance flight from Morocco to Mauritania, the flight attendant gave the safety brief in French at first. My french is not good but my ears pricked up when I heard the words “feu de camp.” I obviously discounted my translation as misunderstanding the brief until she went into the brief in English. We were given the standard safety brief on all aircraft, but at the end, we were specifically reminded that there are to be no cooking or campfires lit on the plane at any time. Can you imagine your seatmate getting hungry and deciding to start a fire on an airplane to cook up some snacks?!?!?
Credit: eBaum’s world
Unwrap suppositories BEFORE insertion
Pharmacy worker here. We have to specify to unwrap suppositories BEFORE insertion. Apparently, someone thought the foil was part of it.
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Dispose of used tampons, properly.
In my lease, I had a clause to properly dispose of my used tampons. I asked why and apparently my landlord had a tenant that caused $50,000 of damage because she threw her used tampons into the cabinet under the sink. She rented the apartment for years and there were 3+ years worth of used, blo0dy tampons in there. The, uh, blo0d caused a bunch of damage akin to water damage to the bathroom. The floor under the cabinet was rotted through. From blo0dy tampon storage.
Credit: eBaum’s world
Never iron clothes while they are being worn
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Remove child before washing
We once got a piece of clothing for one of the kids and right on the label, I kid you not “remove child before washing”.
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In Florida “You may not have s*xual relations with a porcupine”
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In rehab, our cotton swabs were taken away because a guy decided to jam one into his eardrum to get sent to the hospital and get pa!nk!llers.
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Bring an extra pair of pants
Last year’s company Christmas party email specifically stated to bring an extra pair of pants if you will be urinating in the first pair.
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For my fellow scientists: Transferring chemicals by mouth (mouth pipetting) is forbidden.
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Absolutely no roller skates in the lab
My husband worked for a private lab startup and half the women there did roller derby. The lab was (as many are) a repurposed warehouse with nice smooth concrete floors. One of the women thought it would be fun to skate between machines. She got a lot done but the boss figured osha wouldn’t be too thrilled so the sign went up a few days later.
Credit: eBaum’s world
Marmite spread and Kit Kats are banned in Pris0n
Used to work in a pris0n, and they had to ban Marmite spread because the inmates used the yeast to ferment alc0hol, and Kit Kats, because they used the foil wrappers for her0in.
Credit: eBaum’s world
No pallet jack rides
When I worked at a warehouse, I was told that we can’t ride pallet jacks like scooters.
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No d***k excuses for late/missing work
I had the same Biology professor for Bio I and II. Because of me, the Bio II Powerpoint included a new excuse that wouldn’t be accepted for missing/late work: “My d***k roommates threw it out while cleaning!”
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“Do not put 14 rolls of toilet paper in the toilet” -Walmart 2019
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Patrons must not play blindfolded
The ten-bin bowling alley in Geelong* implemented a “Patrons must not play blindfolded” rule. The manager claims it was for safety reasons…
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No backward walking while eating a donut
My father’s hometown, Marion, Ohio, had a rule that you couldn’t eat a donut while walking backward. If I remember correctly, it had something to do with attracting police horses to lure them away from the police.
Credit: eBaum’s world
