Jealousy that goes unnoticed or ignored can escalate into toxic behavior that can transform your friend so drastically, you might not even recognize them anymore. The issue here is that most people hide these feelings deep inside, and it’s hard for us to tell if they’re jealous of us or not. Thankfully, there are a few ways to tell if your friend is harboring negative feelings about you.
A jealous friend can easily bring you down, and we at Bright Side want you to see the signs before things start to go sideways.
1. They compliment you with an insult.
If your friend is jealous of you, they will do whatever they can to act supportive by attacking you with compliments. But pay attention to what they say because it might be coming off the wrong way. Look out for passive-aggressive expressions.
For example, you may have gotten a new job and your friend compliments you by saying, “That’s amazing, but it’s unusual for them to hire people with such a lack of experience, but congratulations.”
2. They gloat at your mistakes.
Even if it’s one mistake that you made a long time ago, or you’ve just faced a loss, your jealous friend will be the first one to tell you, “I told you so.” They might feel happy and satisfied when you experience failure. Any person who takes pleasure in other’s failure is not a person you want to stick with.
3. They make excuses to be away from you.
Notice if your friend is trying to pull away. If they’re jealous, they might be repelled by your success. They might start saying that they’re “busy” all the time or come up with other excuses not to see you. Also, you might notice that they make time to be with others in your social circle.
4. They gossip about you.
Sometimes, even your friend won’t realize that they’re jealous of you. It will most likely start with a feeling of “dislike,” especially if you achieve something that they always wanted for themselves. So you might start hearing from other people that your “friend” is spreading not-so-good news about you. They enjoy putting you down in front of others so that they seem better than you.
If you decide to confront your friend about it, they’ll probably have an excuse, like saying you’ve become “different” or “arrogant.”
5. They tell you that you’re lucky.
It’s understandable to say, “Oh, you’re lucky,” in positive contexts (like when you win a game). But if your friend says that you’re lucky just because you were hired for a job position that they know you’ve worked hard for, it’s not a good sign. It can be also applied to your relationship status, especially if you have a good partner.
It’s not out of love — this person is simply jealous of you. They’re doing this, most likely, to make themselves feel better.
6. They diminish your achievements.
A jealous friend will most likely feel bad about themselves so they’ll downgrade your achievements. If you have good news, they might start looking for something negative to say to make you feel like you didn’t deserve it. Something like, “Don’t celebrate just yet, we still have a few more exams until the end of the year.”
There is another way a jealous friend can decrease the importance of your success. They might comment on something while putting emphasis on the fact that they have more than you. For example, they might say, “Once, I had the highest score for a much harder subject than this one.”
7. They always want to be around you.
While there are jealous people who will try to avoid you, there are others who will try to be with you every second. Actually, in some research, it was concluded that this jealousy can draw people together, but not in a good way. It’s not the same feeling as being with a true friend.
When a jealous friend tries to follow you everywhere, it will seem like they’re stalking you. For example, if you’re in a social setting and you peek over to see them, you’ll notice that they will quickly look away. They’ll actually try to feed off your qualities and take them for themselves, and it grows into an obsession.
Have you seen these signs in anyone you hang out with? Do you know other signs that can reveal if a friend is jealous?
