Instagram has created a false perception of reality that has done more damage than it has done good. Sure it’s fun to take a sneak peek into your friend’s lives and experiences or cyberstalk your favorite celeb or even satisfy your food porn needs but, the app has caused a lot of deception and false realities that leave us wondering if the grass greener on the other side. Welp, we’ve got fifteen reasons why you should probably chill off of Instagram and enjoy life as it comes. Check them out.
Angles. Angles. Angles.
Ladies and gentlemen, as we all should know by now it’s all about the angle of a picture that makes things flattering. Have you ever accidentally opened your forward facing camera and noticed your unattractive double chin and piercing stare only to freak yourself out? Well, it happens to everyone even the hottest chicks in the world cannot run from this reality.
The Pool Side Pic
Now here’s a picture we’ve all seen. This particular image is pretty disturbing though being that this obviously a man with a gorgeous set of bazongas, hairy legs, and awkwardly smooth hairless feet. But, if you haven’t seen this picture scrolling throughout your timeline during the summer you probably follow some pretty boring young ladies. Also, this is another flattering camera angle that doesn’t tell the entire physical truth of the one snapping the pic. Be careful fellas, don’t fall for it.
The Reality Of Those Lovely Lady Lumps
With body enhancing surgeries on the rise and the Kim Kardashian wannabes of the world popping up left and right, women tend to display their backside more than ever on the Gram. Unfortunately, some butts aren’t as shapely as they’re displayed. In no way, shape, or form are we cool with body shaming but, not everyone is built with a butt like Serena Williams. Regardless, we should all be happy with the body the universe has gifted us with.
Perfection & Perception
Like we mentioned before, everything appears a little more perfect than what it is actually is when it comes to the internet and Instagram. It’s hard to believe that your favorite Instagram model is in perfect form every moment of every single day of their lives. People have bad hair days or might not have their makeup on fleek at all times like Instagram tends to lead people to believe. Don’t believe the hype.
Please. Put. The. Phone. Down.
For some reason, in this day and age, everyone feels the need to document everything. We’ve all seen the horrendous and untasteful selfies taken at funerals, in the midst of mediocre meals at Applebee’s, and in tragedy. There’s nothing more awkward than looking at your favorite Instagram honey checked into the hospital holding up the phone in order to take a picture with tubes coming out of her nose. Some people don’t know when to stop in regards to oversharing on social media.
The Discovery Of Brunch
Brunch, too late for breakfast and too early for lunch. It appears that brunch has become a newly found mealtime throughout society that just so happens to fascinate the women of Instagram which requires them to snap a multitude of candids of their Belgian-style waffle, freshly cut fruit, and mimosas. Don’t get us wrong, we love a good omelette bar ourselves but, the necessity to post something we all do and enjoy is puzzling at times.
The Bathtub Leg Selfie
Alright, let’s get one thing clear, we don’t condone the use of the term ‘simple b*tches’ but, for some strange reason we’ve all seen a photo just like this one with an off-topic quote by Deepak Chopra when obviously some young lady is just trying to show off her legs and new rainbow bath bomb. Please… Stop this. Trust us, we’ll like the picture regardless of your attractive legs no need to taint the photo with an inspiring quote by some so-called enlightened tech guru.
Oversharing. A Tale Of The Millennial.
We enjoy playing this game while out with our significant others. When out on a dinner date whoever is the first to check their phone has to pay the bill when the time comes. Try playing this game with someone who’s obsessed with Instagram, you can expect a free meal or at least be the witness of a nervous breakdown. Sometimes, it’s better to just put the phone down and stare into the eyes of the person you’re currently spending time with.
#Hashtag
We all know that one person who overdoes it when it comes to the hashtag portion of their photos on Instagram. We understand you want your post to be seen by as many people as possible but, when hashtags are unrelated to the image itself or just not creative they tend to become bothersome. No need to throw a #followforfollow hashtag underneath your office space photo or an #lol hashtag underneath a picture of you visiting your grandmother. It’s just weird.
I Woke Up Like This
We’re all for those who choose not to throw tons of filters on their pictures or post a no makeup selfie to the Gram but, sometimes you gotta understand… The world doesn’t care and we’ll most likely like you regardless as some of us aren’t really that shallow or picky to begin with. We appreciate the bravery and confidence it takes to post a no makeup selfie but, honestly who cares? We dig you with or without makeup or fresh out of the shower or first thing in the morning, you’re all great inside and out.
The Full Body Shot
Alright, this one could possibly rock the boat but, it is true. Female Instagram enthusiasts tend to show off their bodies whenever they get the chance while their male counterparts are less likely to do so. Partially because males are less obsessed with their image and women have the advantage of gaining more attention with their bodies than men do. Hard pill to swallow but nothing but facts when it comes to this one.
No Filter
Not to be mean but sometimes filters might be necessary for some people out there. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sometimes people don’t fit into the societal standards of beauty and that’s ok. We recommend you do what you gotta do to draw away from your flaws and accentuate your most attractive features. Get those angles right and throw on that brand new Fenty Beauty foundation and work it, ladies!
You Look Nothing Like Your Picture On Insta
Nobody likes to be blindsided especially when it comes to being catfished by what you thought was the hot chick on Instagram but in reality turns out to be a dud or look nothing like their photos on the popular picture book app. It sucks but you have to take precautions when meeting that fine Instagram honey for the first time in person. We have a trick up our sleeve to expose the frauds though… good old FaceTime, it never fails.
The Mastery Of The Profile Picture
We don’t know what type of sorcery or voodoo is performed in order to master this technique but, the women of Instagram have become experts at taking the perfect profile picture. Seriously, how many of these photos are taken before they find the right one? And how long or how many hours did it take until you snapped the right flick? We don’t know how it’s done but the ladies of IG have become expert photographers or either know magic. Fellas, take notes.
The Deceptive Cleavage Pic
Oh, this one is infuriating… Alright, so you figured us out, guys love boobs and somehow the women of Instagram have found many of angles to accentuate these God-given blessings in a plethora of ways. Whether it be the laying on the back selfie or up close and aimed at the feet, those lady lumps have never looked so good. Unfortunately, these deceiving angles take away from the reality of actual breast size and can leave even the most accepting of men disappointed. Regardless of the deception, ladies we still love you.
